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Monday 15 December, 2008

Sniffer dog


A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sits down in the aisle seat and puts his black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man...

The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why the dog is allowed
on the plane.

The second man explains, I'm a Drug Enforcement Agency officer and the dog is a Sniffer dog. His name is Smithy and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work."

The plane takes off, and once it has leveled out, the agent says, "Watch this." He tells Smithy to 'search'.

Smithy jumps down, walks along the aisle, and finally sits very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Smithy then returns to his seat and puts one paw on the agent's arm.

The agent says, "Good boy", and he turns to the man and says,"That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land."

"Say, that's pretty neat," replies the first man.

Once again, the agent sends Smithy to search the aisles. The dog sniffs about, sits down beside a man for a few seconds, returns to his seat and this time, he places TWO paws on the agent's arm. The agent says, "That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making note of his seat number for the police."

"I like it!" says his seat mate.

The agent then tells Smithy to 'search' again. Smithy walks up and down the aisles for a little while, sits down for a moment and then comes racing back to the agent, jumps into the middle seat and proceeds to shit all over the place.

The first man is really amazed now by this behavior and can't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like this, so he asks the agent., "What's going on?"

The agent nervously replies, "He just found a bomb!"

Tuesday 2 December, 2008

Operating different people

Five surgeons are discussing the types of people they like to operate on.

The first surgeon says: 'I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'

The second responds: 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.'

The third surgeon says: 'No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'

The fourth surgeon chimes in: 'You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.'


But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable.'